Recreational Pausing

What human would be complete if they never took a break? What human could endure without some time to relax? Well, to help you do just that, we've picked out some of the best "Recreational Pausing" games we could find from our original books. Enjoy and play the games listed below for some unusual excitement and an excursion beyond the limits of games considered normal. Have yourselves a grand ole time!

Watch and Talk

This is a fun game to play at the mall, the beach, in a crowded place or anywhere. It's a simple game, but hilarious. It takes at least two people or more, and maybe an audience if desired. How do you play? Watch a group of two or more people talking within 50 feet or so of your vicinity. Then, make up your own words as to what they are saying. The outcome can often be hilarious.

Note: Sometimes it's advantageous to have a subject already in mind when beginning to play.

Mr. Spit

A rather gruesome, but courageous game to be played only by the strong-hearted. Simple, but scary. One person lays on the floor. The other stands above him and allows a large glob of spit to begin to hang from his mouth. The object is to see how far the spit will stretch before it breaks. Of course, if the person standing is kind, he will see how far it will hang and then quickly suck it back up at the last second. That, of course, is optional.

Power Snip

A game that in the older years, even some of us won't play anymore. It's a game of strength and power. A game where knuckles of the opponent may exceed their normal size. Both people play a game such as rocks, scissors and paper. The loser then places his hand in an outstretched position while the other snips his knuckles as hard as possible. If the loser continues his unfortunate habit of losing, his knuckles will become a wad of aching bone and cartilage after just a few minutes of play. Thus, try to outwit your opponent so you don't lose and end up with extra-large knuckles.

The Throttle

A game which takes practice to master. The secret is in the limpness or deadness of the middle finger, ring finger and pinky of either hand. Using your thumb to hold your index finger, allow the other three fingers to go limp. By quickly snapping your hand, you will have control over an abundance of dead flesh and bone. Then, after playing a game in which a loser is guaranteed, you will use the dead fingers to snap, on the forehead or knuckles, your opponent. This ensures a good round as he will not want to lose again, and will thus try to be an excellent competitor.

Extra rules for play are something like this: If the loser moves his hand or head causing you to miss, you get an extra shot free. Other rules may also be added depending on your imagination.

Power Throttle

This game adds to the original, The Throttle. Using the same rules, instead of just throttling your opponent, you also put into action the swinging of your arms or wrist to give the blow a more powerful effect on the victim. This is an advanced version of The Throttle, and would not be recommended until the original game has been mastered. (Eye protection is recommended.)

Molar Minutes

A true test-of-your-manhood kind of game. The person who endures the longest wins. Here's how to play. Take a dish of ice cream, (a cone works better), hold it in front of your face, open your mouth and sink your teeth directly into the ice cream. Buffering the sensation by using your lips or something else is not allowed. Just simply plunge your ivory masticators right into the freezing cold lactose product. The record time for keeping one's teeth in ice cream in this fashion was somewhere around 2 minutes. This was accomplished by the designer of these games father. An amazing feat indeed!

Berry Fun

This is a game wherein your mother will kill you. Take a clean white tee-shirt, find a fresh blackberry bush with extra ripe berries and you’re ready to play. The object of the game is to see how many berries you can catch in your mouth by throwing them high into the air. The guy with the most berry marks on his shirt loses, both to the other player and to his mother.

Digger the Dog

A game of endurance, integrity and the ability to break the pain threshold. One person grabs the other persons leg in the upper thigh region and places his fingertips in a ready stance. Then, at a count of whatever, he begins to slowly dig deep into the meat of his opponents inner thigh. When the opponent can no longer take the pain, he cries out "Stop!," and the game continues by reversing roles. We rarely played more than two games before moving onto something less scarring!

Mileage Wars

This is a game for fun in the car. There is no pain involved, only the use of your highly skilled mental calculatory powers and your finely honed and superb estimating skills. Start the game by both (or more) individuals observing the current mileage setting as found on the car's odometer. Then, once you have reached your destination, all involved in the game will take a guess at what they think the current mileage is. After all guesses have been heard, the driver looks and calls out the actual figure. Whoever has the EXACT MILEAGE figure, down to the decimal point wins. Because of the preciseness of this game, there may be several days or weeks between wins. A written record of the winners is kept. Whoever is the first one to win five games will receive a pre-arranged prize from the other players. It is a longer game, but one requiring the use of a skilled mind and accuracy in estimation.

Note: If the final number should fall between two numbers on the odometer, then a previously outlined method of determining which way it will be rounded will be put into play. Note too that on some newer cars, the odometer does not have a decimal place. In this instance, the game can still be played, but the challenge of it all will be somewhat diminished.

Scale Squeezing

Here's another game of power, less the pain. All involved will take a bathroom scale and see who can squeeze it the highest. The scale must be held away from the body, and the highest number reached is that person's score. The winnings are up to each individual’s imagination.

Numbered Illuminations

Another game for the road. This game is best played on a two-lane road with a lot of traffic, and works best at dusk. Each person in the car plays together until someone vocally messes up. At that point, they are out. To play, each person will count the cars approaching them based on whether or not they have their headlights on. Each time the headlight status changes, the numbers must begin at the number one again. Example: Coming toward you are 5 cars with their lights on, 2 off, 3 on, 1 off. To be accurate, you would count as follows: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 1. Note the skill needed in quickly dropping back to the number one without messing up. It may sound easy, but it's not, especially if there is heavy traffic traveling at a high rate of speed on a slowly darkening evening.

Horseballs

A combination game of horseshoes and golf. The idea is to use your golfing skills in accordance with the rules of horseshoe play. The object is to get as close as possible to the stake, in this case a tree or some other object, with your golf ball, which is used in place of the horseshoes. Scoring takes place in accordance with any pre-arranged rules you might apply to this game. Use your imagination and have fun!

Latex Lunge

Here's another game wherein pain and tears are the ultimate outcome. How do you play? Very simple. First, get two people who dare to be dumb enough to play. Both individuals then put on a pair of latex rubber gloves. (We have always used the thin medical style gloves, as these seem to have worked best.) Then both parties stand facing each other with their arms outstretched and their skills of feigning intact. At a specified counting time, both parties attempt to "lunge" at each other’s bare arms. The key here is bare. If the arms are hairy, it works even better. The object is to try to grab the opponent’s arms and "rip" the skin and hair by grabbing or twisting before the other player can block you. At the same time, your opponent will be trying to grab your arms making the challenge even more exciting. Scoring is up to you.

Stairway Sting

A game of skill, perspicacity and daringness. Area needed? An enclosed stairwell. Items needed? Two people and a small rubber ball. Object? One person stands at the top of the stairs while the other is positioned at the bottom. The perspicacious person is the one at the bottom as he will need all his units of insight into where the ball will hit in order not to lose this game. The person at the top of the stairs will need his skills of sight and his ability to aim precisely intact. The game is simple to play. The person at the top of the stairs throws the ball as hard as possible at the person at the bottom. He, in turn, tries to dodge the ball quick enough not to be hit. The extra skill is involved in that a rubber ball will bounce, thus moving around the area more than a normal ball would. If he is able to avoid being hit, then he has scored one point. If not, then the other person has scored. The game can continue in one of two ways. Either the person at the top gets to throw the ball for a set amount of scoring times, or the ball can be thrown from both people in both positions on the stairwell for a prescribed amount of scoring time. In all fairness, however, the opponents will change positions periodically, since the one at the top does have more of an advantage as compared to the one at the bottom of the stairwell.

Fetch and Crush

A game designed, tested and played by two original Warmchew members. It is played with a large canine animal, a ball, and two people. Picture and play in the following way. The dog is commanded to sit. One person sits directly behind the dog with his/her back against the dog's rear end. The other person stands in front of the dog with the ball in hand. When the person with the ball determines it is time, he will throw the ball directly over the head of the dog and the other person. At that moment, the dog will turn and run over the top of the second player. The idea is to create suspense in the player sitting on the ground and sadistic fun in the mind of the one throwing the ball.

For added fun, you can "tease" the dog by pretending to get ready to throw the ball, although not doing so. In this way, the dog will continue to move slightly in anticipation of his job of fetching the ball. In turn, the person on the ground will feel the dog continually banging into his back ready to crush them, but not knowing exactly when it will happen.

Canine Rodeo

Here's another game to be played with a dog, two people, a ball, and this time a rope suspended from a tree. One person sits on the dogs back, thus the need for a large dog, and then holds onto the rope. The other person, when ready, will throw the ball into the air for the canine to fetch. At the same time, the person on the dog's back will get a ride as far as the rope will allow. Then they will become airborne and have an exciting and fun ride around the tree. Scoring is up to your own jocundit and jocular steaming mass of internal cranial pudding. Use it wisely and in a perspicuous fashion for the ultimate in Warmchew fun!

Frisbee Fling

A game for three or more players. Positions in this game can be rotated as various players either are injured or tired enough to want to quick being the target. Here's the set-up. Two people stand several yards apart with Frisbee in hand. They will play Frisbee the old-fashioned way, simply throwing it back and forth to each other. The third person will attempt to run between the two players who are throwing the Frisbee. The object of the third player is to try to make it through the other two without being hit by the whirling disc. At this point, the two players with the Frisbee increase the speed of their normal Frisbee game, flinging the disc as hard and accurately as possible at the third running player. Each time the third player is hit, points are scored. This can be an exciting but painful game.

We would recommend playing it cautiously. Don't aim for anything on the runners body above the chest.

Poison

Of all games discussed in the Warmchew writings, Poison may very well go back the farthest in the annals of Warmchew history. It is a game for only two. Poison can be played in most any home or facility possessing a hallway. Close all the doors and establish two boundaries at each end of the corridor (generally around 25 to 30 feet apart.) Next, a ball of rubber, needing to be smaller than a volleyball and larger than a golf ball, must be obtained. (Thus far, Poison has no official ball specifications.) Play begins when one player launches the ball at his opponent. The main rule is that the ball must never come to a COMPLETE stop. Your opponent then returns the ball using any means available. A centerline is agreed upon early on, and if you fail to return the ball across that line, you must lunge at it in an effort to return it. Should the ball come completely to rest when it's your responsibility to return it, you experience a 100 fold dose of poison directly into your system. (Imaginary poison, that is.) This provides a great deal of enthusiasm and tension as you attempt to keep the ball in motion. The ball may still be moving on a molecular level, so be cautious not to judge it too soon. Poison always ends in utter dismay. The ball will keep going...But you must eat...You must sleep...One will always prevail and one will always be poisoned.

Music: Alan Parson Project - I Robot