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Adjectival Speaking to Enhance Normal Speech

To begin, we might define our word, adjectival.  Taken from the base word, adjective, which means to describe something, we have simply added a suffix to it so our title sounded cool. 

     To be very pointed and clear, adjectival speaking is a way in which you talk about simple, average, everyday things, and then, by using extremely descriptive words, you make them sound amazing, intelligent and cool.  Follow along as we share with you several examples wherein this principle is applied.  We feel you will find this an exciting way to spice up your everyday speech and amaze yourself and your friends at the same time.  Without further interruption, let's get started.  

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example One

NORMAL SPEECH: 

"Man, is it hot out or what?  It must be close to 90 degrees.  I feel like I'm going to melt."

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH: 

"Wow, is the temperature in the upper atmosphere blazing with heat rays from the furnace in the sky or what?  It must be pretty near to being in the upper digits of the Fahrenheit scale.  I perceive on my flesh the sensation that my epidermis is about to become a puddle of liquid flesh slowing dripping from my calcium rich girders."

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Two

NORMAL SPEECH:

"Be careful when you dig that ditch.  There are buried electrical lines underground, and I wouldn't want to see you electrocuted!"


ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"Use extreme care when removing the upper crust of ground from the earth's mantle to form a groove.  There's flowing electricity ranging in the high voltage range that passes through well insulated but sometimes unstable cables directly beneath us, and I certainly wouldn't want to see your body crumble in a smoldering ash-heap of burning flesh and bone because of a failure to heed my superb warning!"

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Three

NORMAL SPEECH:

"My car is out of gas.  Could you give me a lift?"

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"My four-wheeled driving apparatus is void of needed momentum- producing chemical mixtures.  Could you provide me with a transport into the next civilized area?"

Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Four

NORMAL SPEECH:

"The fire and smoke from that explosion was amazing! I couldn't believe that the building burned down that fast."

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"The 451 degree heat has an extraordinarily strong laurence and the billowing black mixture of toxins and pollutants from the upward blast of energy contained within the atoms of the molecules nucleus was outrageous!  It was unbelievable that the tall brick and cement structure was conflagrated to ground level with such rapidity."

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Five

NORMAL SPEECH:

"Look at the speed that girl can go on those roller-blades!  She's flying!"

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"Perceive with your uniquely created spherical cameras mounted carefully in your cranial structure the velocity with which that perfectly shaped female figure can go while riding those linear-controlled spinning- rubber mechanically- mounted foot units!  She's reaching abnormal velocity proportions!"

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Six

NORMAL SPEECH:

"Waiter, waiter!  This food hasn't been thoroughly cooked.  Could you please return it to the kitchen and notify the cook about its’ condition?"

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"Food carrier, food carrier!  This nutrient pile hasn't had its E. Coli bacteria filling totally incinerated yet.  Could you please carry it quickly back to the nutritious preparation center and convey to the man with the over-sized, baggy and rather soiled hat about the condition of our sustenance?"

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Seven

NORMAL SPEECH:

"I'm going to run to the store and pick up some groceries for this week."

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"The individual speaking to you in the first person tense is going to move in a quicker fashion than that of walking and travel to the storage facility in which all forms of sustenance are contained to obtain the necessities of life in their various forms for this particular 1/52nd of the year."

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Eight

NORMAL SPEECH:

"Work sucks!  Let's go fishing, kick back in the boat and have a few beers."

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"The thing that makes Johnny a dull boy is like a void in space wherein gravitational pull is non-existent.  Why don't we all exit this area and extract some water dwelling cold-blooded creatures from their home, enjoy some relaxation in a laid back way in a man-made structure which can navigate and float on the surface of moderately moving atoms which exist in liquid form and throw back a few yeast-created, hops- filled, potentially intoxicating alcoholic liquids."

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Nine

NORMAL SPEECH:

"The cat caught another mouse and left it at the back door for us."

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"The feline soul snatched from it's home another Disney-like character possessing large ears and innocent eyes and sometimes connected to a computer and placed it discreetly at the rear entry to the residence in which we currently reside for our inspection and approval."

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Normal Speech vs. Adjectival Speech - Example Ten

NORMAL SPEECH:

"The accident was terrible!  Body parts and clothing were strewn across the road and both cars were totaled." 

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ADJECTIVAL SPEECH:

"The not-on-purpose incident was horrific in all aspects!  Hinged-digits, olfactory protrusions, optic orbs, electro-chemical cell conglomeration pieces and other human chunks and thread-like substances manufactured from cotton, rayon and other man-made materials were scattered and tossed haphazardly on the tarmac and both mechanically-driven, fuel-induced, self-propelled objects were twisted and destroyed beyond recognition." 

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Music: Jean-Michel Jarre - Equinoxe Part 2

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